__________________________________________________________________ Making Lives Simpler Practical News and Tips for Living the Life You Truly Desire __________________________________________________________________ September 2000 Volume 4 Issue 5 __________________________________________________________________ IN THIS ISSUE: I. Invasion of the In-laws 2000 II. 5 Quick Tips to Finding Quiet Time III. 5 of Their Tips IV. References _____________________________________ I. INVASION OF THE IN-LAWS 2000 "Invasion of the In-laws 2000" is what my husband lovingly called it this summer when my family arrived from Colorado and Connecticut for three weeks of California summer fun. Our normally quiet home for two turned into a non-stop busy activity center for nine. Even our appliances experienced more activity. Both the dishwasher and the washing machine were given multiple workouts daily which, in turn, placed a higher demand on our water heater, not only for washing, but for extra showering as well. The refrigerator was kept humming with all its openings and closings to either put in or take out a wonderfully wide variety of breads, yogurts, vegetables, cheeses, drinks and more. One early evening as I was involved in another round of dishes, I looked around to see some family members reading in the TV room, a couple others hunched intensely over a 1000-piece picture puzzle, kids running in and out of the house, my sister trying to set another personal high score on our pinball machine, and through it all, knew Chuck was sequestered in his office trying to get some of his work done. It was a pretty neat scene actually. And I thought about those of you for whom this chaotic scene is quite possibly a regular day in your life. I also admit in the midst of this turmoil, I was thinking how I might go about maintaining my personal sanity. So, because mornings can effectively set the tone for an entire day, I adjusted my wake-up time and meditation schedule so that I would still have some quiet morning time before the rest of the house awoke and got going. I also made sure to plan as well as possible under the circumstances so I wouldn't have to rush or hurry to get to the various activities we wanted to do. And I chose not to join in every activity. I also created some evenings where I could retreat to my bedroom at a reasonable time to enjoy some cherished reading time while others continued to play games or finish their activities. One thing that really helped me is something I've suggested many times. Let others help. Ask for help when you need it. It's really okay, and will make a world of difference in your life. For instance, at first during our "Invasion" I tried to be the perfect hostess. Translate that for yourself to perfect parent, perfect spouse, or perfect whatever you're continually trying to be. Otherwise you'll find yourself on one of the fastest roads to resentment, stress, and just plain getting worn out. When I started letting others help with the cooking and cleaning, even when it wasn't always the way I would have done it, my life became much calmer. If you experience chaotic days more often than you'd like, ask yourself how you start your day. How well do you really plan what you can? How often are you rushed? How many activities, or demands, could you say "no" to? What times have you set aside especially for yourself? When was the last time you asked for help? If we're truly seeking calmness, quiet, and personal sanity in our lives, we need to know it's up to us to create it. Starting today, begin to create the life you really desire. Linda __________________________________ II. 5 QUICK TIPS TO FINDING QUIET TIME 1. Try getting up 30 minutes before the rest of the household, taking a full lunch hour (you do remember that thing called lunch?), or setting aside some personal time before bed. 2. Say "no" to some activities, committees or volunteer work. It's OK to schedule in time for you. 3. Ask for help and let go of any perfection requirements. Organize a process where everyone in the home participates in maintaining the home. 4. Take a moment outside before going into work, a store, school, etc. Walk more slowly to your destination and notice your surroundings. 5. Consider the possibility that you have been responsible for accepting the chaos into your life and now you can be responsible for creating the quiet. __________________________________ III. 5 OF THEIR TIPS 1. "When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care far more profoundly about other people." - Eda LeShan 2. "If you don't think every day is a good day, just try missing one." - Cavett Robert 3. "Adventure today means finding one's way back to the silence and stillness of a thousand years ago. - Pico Iyer 4. "If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles." - Doug Larson 5. "The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat" - Jane Wagner ________________________________________ REFERENCES To find more resources or to order these go to http://www.simplifylife.com/reference.html Take Your Time: Finding Balance in a Hurried World by Eknath Easwaran (Room 1 - Define Simplifying Your Life http://www.simplifylife.com/stratgy1.html) Take Your Time offers a concrete approach to dealing with the hurry pressure in our lives. Written in a clear conversational style, this book outlines practical tools for slowing down our thinking and the pace of our days. Using these tools regularly, we can find that point of balance in our lives where we are most focused, efficient, and loving. Living in Balance: A Dynamic Approach for Creating Harmony & Wholeness in a Chaotic World by Joel Levey, Michelle Levey (Room 1 - Define Simplifying Your Life http://www.simplifylife.com/stratgy1.html) A balanced life equals health--mental, emotional, and physical. "Living in Balance," written by two experts on the subject of balance, offers a synthesis of ancient wisdom traditions, such as mindfulness, with cutting-edge research on peak human performance, to show readers how to master the art of balancing within an environment of rapid change. _________________________________________ MORE ABOUT "MAKING LIVES SIMPLER" Linda Manassee Buell is a full-time Personal and Business Coach, and author of the audio tape, "Simplify Your Life, 7 Simple Strategies for Doing What You Love to Do." She has also recently revised her helpful eBooklet, "Simplify Your Life: 101 Ways to Create the Life You'll Love." To order your personal copy by check or credit card, just go to http://www.simplifylife.com and click on Shop the Store. Anyone is welcome to subscribe to "Making Lives Simpler." To subscribe or un-subscribe, send an e-mail to requests@lists.webvalence.com with "subscribe MakingLivesSimpler" or "unsubscribe MakingLivesSimpler" as the subject. (Be sure there aren't any spaces between the words MakingLivesSimpler.) This mailing list is confidential and will not be sold, traded, or bartered. Linda's e-mail address: Linda@simplifylife.com Linda's Website: http://www.simplifylife.com The contents herein are solely the opinions of Simplify Life and Linda Manassee Buell. "Making Lives Simpler" (c) 2000 Simplify Life All Rights Reserved